I Am a Small Lump of Clay

 

I AM A SMALL LUMP OF CLAY
Written, Composed & Arranged by Michael Woodhead (1985)
(Creative Commons License : Attribution-NoDerivs 4.0 International)

[Music only; vocals pending]

From My Autobiography : 1970 : Age 23

SPRING
I design a ‘Galactic Restaurant’ menu with familiar food items using exotic science-fiction names by which to order them.

Like many other concepts I spawned, that one never saw reality either.


I go to see The Boys in the Band movie [based on Mart Crowley’s stage play about what happens when a straight man goes to a gay party], and that further confuses me about my own sexuality and my gender identity. Am I straight, gay, bi, trans, or what?


SUMMER
The family moves to the Bridgeland district.

Residence:
6 Street NE
Calgary, Alberta, Canada


I continue to market my songs, albeit with more encouragement from record companies, but no success; and my frustration continues to grow.    

■ “I gave [your tape] to our director of A&R. He liked the songs, but didn’t feel that your voice and material were strong enough…”
—Penny Weiss
Paradox Music Group

At that time, I promoted myself to them as ‘Valentine Michael Smith, the StarChild’. Obviously, I was still searching for my own identity, still uncertain about my gender, and so I endeavored to be someone else.

Using some of my ‘Galactic Ballads’, Dean and I present a small musical, for which we call ourselves ‘Prayer’.

Looking back on it, that was a strange name for us to use at the time since neither one of us was religious, and I can’t remember why we did so.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I photograph various girls and women I see on the streets of Calgary.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

FALL
Ray purchases a house and rents out the basement suite to me.

Residence:
Stanley Road SW
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

I meet and photograph Mary Ann van Dun and her friend, Dorothy.

I was still in touch with Mary Ann who moved back to and lived in Holland until she died in 2023.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I join the Alfred Hitchcock fan club

Mary Ann and I begin singing together in various Calgary venues.


NOVEMBER
When I meet John S through Mary Ann, I go to a party at his house, but I avoid the rest of the people who are probably smoking weed. I listen to George Harrison's All Things Must Pass album on an LP player through headphones, in the dark, as I lie on the floor of John’s living-room.


DECEMBER
John and his girlfriend, Rachel, drop in to see me. They offer me a strip of blotter paper soaked with LSD [lysergic acid diethylamide, the hallucinogenic drug].
    Unsure of its effects, a little hesitant but nonetheless curious, I tell them I’ll try a quarter of it.
    I place the blotter segment under my tongue and then we lie on my bed and wait.
    Forty-five minutes to the minute after taking my portion, I enter Hell.
    For nine hours, I trudge back and forth from one room to another, and simply watch my feet move. They’re the only things that keep me in touch with reality because my mind seems to be bouncing around from one corner of the universe to another.
    Feeling hot, I strip off my clothes.
    I pass through the bedroom to go to the bathroom and see my friends having sex on my bed.
    Once, I step outside naked in the freezing cold. However, I feel nothing but snowflakes melting on my skin.
    Only during the last hour of my ‘trip’ do I see vibrant, florescent colors explode from everything around me whenever I blink.    

This was the first, last, and only time I ever did hallucinogenic drugs, or any other kind of mind-expanding drugs for that matter. I felt too much out of control. But I did use the experience later as a jumping-off point for scenes in my novels, 'A Rain of Sorrows' and 'Child of Promise'.


31 DECEMBER
Thursday
Mary Ann and I sing at Oscar’s Den, for a New Year’s Eve party. 

 

Several people came up to me afterwards and told me I should try singing as a solo act. Much as I appreciated the compliment, it also frustrated me. I always saw myself performing with some sort of musical group—me with several female vocalists. As I heard them in my head, my songs required two or three harmonies and multiple instruments, not a single voice with guitar.

If I remember correctly, Oscar’s Den had three soundproof floors, with a different kind of musical entertainment act on each floor.